Sunday, March 28, 2010

Painful Farewell

After 15 years of wonderful loyalty, love, and joy I had to say goodbye to my best friend. Ally Bear was put down on 03/26 at 11:30 in the morning. It was by far the most difficult thing I have endured and more painful than any other loss - yes, including people in my life. She has been the longest constant in my life and I miss her terribly even today.

I didn't speak with anyone the rest of Friday and all weekend I painted rooms with Hon, worked on the sprinkler system and tended the yard...just tried to keep busy. Didn't want to FB - didn't want the responses - didn't want to communicate - just very angry - VERY angry.
My apologies to everyone at home as I was just nasty by Friday night. After medicating myself I did feel better but ugh - it's been a sucky weekend. Just thinking of it now I start welling up.

Hon and I discussed how she was not fairing well last week - I decided, given my work and school schedule, Friday would be the tell-tale day. I'd see how she was. Came back from hiking T-bird park with Sasha and Hon told me she was excreting "bile" and couldn't get up. It was Friday - there was the sign.
Right? So I bribe her with Nathan's dogs into the van - carry her into the vet and into the room. Not once would she look at us and not once was she cooperative. After the sedative shot she finally laid down after 15 min. No one could touch her feet - just petting her head was all she'd allow.

The doc came in to administer the "blue elixir" and Ally got up howling and flopping into walls (as she was sedated) - broke my heart - lost it! Hon was trying to help her as she was trying to get behind her and a chair and I sat their helpless trying to maintain (NOT well at all) and I was ready to take her home then and there. But we calmed her down, the vet gave her the injection and in less than 30 seconds she was gone. ...Whoa - can't continue. You get the idea.

Love you, Ally.


~minta~ said...

dammit....what the hell is going on in the universe? ....i am so sorry...i know how much she meant to you...i am crying again...for you ...& for AllyBear....i hope Bella wasnt her usual snotty self when Ally came across the bridge .....i hope Porsche, Pebs, Bella & her are all romping thru a field filled with flowers made of their favorite puppeh biscuits ....(((hugs))

Malifacent said...

Yea, it's been creeping on me for some time. Extended family of ours just had to put their dog down - she reminded me so much of Ally - similar breed, temperment - age! She only put her down maybe two weeks ago and their friend lost her lhasa the same week - also 15. It was like these signals trying to prep me - it's coming...get ready. Then I read yours a few days back and was like - shit!

For a while I really thought Jesse would go first (having hard times with her back legs etc.) and Sasha seemed to put so much wind back in Ally's sails but I suppose she was just training her to take over? Thanks!