This just in...

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management Team made up of senior mangement was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and one rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money. After six months of hard work, they advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough were rowing.

The American Team acted: to prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's mangement structure was reorg'd to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program, or RTQFP...with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. Even new paddles and medical bennie incentives were promised for a winner. "We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and cancelled all capital investments for new equipments. The money save was distributed to the senior execs as bonuses for a job well done.


Hey! I work for these guys?!?!?! No SH&#T!

HRUMPF!

Two things I think are a big waste of time, sleeping and using the restroom...

now there's not much to gripe about sleeping unless of course you are unable to and are in dire need of it however there is mucho to discuss when it comes to the other physical neccessity.

Gripe list begins now:

1) When you tear off the tissue paper and you get that tail, you know, the corner piece that lingers into the next square and creates this uneven cut of the paper. Hate that.

2) When you need to just do number one but you know you'll end up with a squeaker and you're using a public restroom so you try to release number one slowly to avoid the 'soundtrack'.

3) When you have an upset tummy and need to take care of it like, NOW and someone is in the restroom lingering to do their hair or just admire themselves in the mirror knowing full well you need the privacy - they do it to torture us!

4) The person who tries to enter your stall and realizes it's locked and then LOOKS in the crack to verify if it really is indeed occupied?! What's up with that!

5) The toilets that flush when you aren't done, swear these must have been cross-breeds between toilets and boudays

6) When you just get done(bad tummy) and as soon as you zip your pants, that pain comes back and you're back to square one.



7)You've got to go really bad and when you close the door you find "water" left behind on the seat

8) No toilet paper, paper towels, soap, or the faucets aren't working.


9)The extra roll (ONLY roll which is usually brown) of paper towels is sitting on that little metal shelf beneath the wall length mirror or on top of the paper compartment and has wet finger marks all along the top/bottom where it was grabbed before.



10) When the door opens inward and the garbarge can is no where near the door preventing you from either a) exiting using a paper towel and disposing of before leaving the area or b) forcing you to use the towel but then find a trash outside the restroom or c) using the towel, swinging the door extra wide so you can mad dash it to the trash receptacle, toss the used towel and sneak through the door before it closes on you
[sucks when you don't make it in time and have to start alllll over!]

Copy Cat!

Once again, coming to you LIVE from (http://todaysaddiction.blogspot.com/) ... she has got some really great reading material over there. The whole 'peircing' story is great and hey, been there done that!

Anyway, I digress - here's just a fun little exercise I thought I'd borrow since she was all too kind to share.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Hmmm... 10 years ago I was working for America West Airlines and the original Coffee Plantation on Mill Avenue in downtown Tempe while attending ASU. I was also struggling getting MY OWN first pup (turning a year that Christmas) potty trained due to my erratic schedule to say the least and working with my then girlfriend on purchasing several many acres back in Pennsylvania (The Poconos) to open a Bed and Breakfast at a resort that was being sold down the street from where I once lived.

5 years ago

Wow! much more difficult, let's see - five years agoooo, I was living in my second house in North Phoenix with my two dogs (yes, she finally learned how to go OUTSIDE) and working for American Express in their Technologies department. At this point, for extra cash, I had taken a side job running pizza for Pizza Hut and was making my then girlfriend (same as the one 10 ago) crazy because we never spent time together. I was gearing up for the holiday and new year and working like a fiend. The B and B gig fell through as the land had been rezoned and was no longer parceled so the investors backed out forcing me to work like a fiend and remain in the hot desert sun of Arizona I like to call a Living Hell!

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Munchies Classic Mix 2. Ben and Jerry's NY Super Fudge Chunk Ice Cream 3. ANY other kind of ice cream (no mocha types or bannana) 4. Super Tender Beef Jerky, Peppered 5. Milk Duds or Reisens

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. Elton John - Tiny Dancer: everyone has a soundtrack for their life and how each song represents someone they knew or some significant moment...this song is mine and only mine, brings no memory of anyone else or any time - sometimes that's just nice and necessary.

2. Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen: this was my first significant and cognicent purchase of my adolesence. It paved the way of my musical distinction well through out high school and even today.

3. Anita Baker- name it and I know it! ...oh what a night...that one too - oh, can't forget that one, and...

4. Frank Sinatra - Under My Skin : when I met my love that was all I sang for weeks on end; in the car, out of the car, in the hallways at work, or in the shower - it's our song to this day and it brings a smile to our faces whenever we hear it.

5.The Cure - The Kiss: there's not much in the way of lyrics so it's not difficult to recall however it was what I played through out my Senior Year of high school, that and some Donovan. But mostly I really liked the line "Getting you F*CKING voice out of my head" part. Quite angst ridden I was.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:(Well a million isn't enough, let's pretend like it says several million, OK?) {I'm keeping her disclaimer}

1. My mother is incapacitated and lives in a nursing home(far too young, since she was 41) I would set her up on my (new) ranch w/ a live-in attendent and horses running around outside her cottage so she would have something to look at and make her happy.

2. Give all of my immediate family (which is pretty considerable) a 1/2 million each to do with whatever they wish.

3. Travel abundantly

4. Begin my Auto Collection starting with 67 vette convertible, 2006 Saab 93, and 79 Triumph Spitfire.

5. Buy a house on an island off Seattle coast in Washington state.

Five bad habits:

1. Chewing my nails (yea I'll keep that too)

2. Swearing like a salor ( okay, keeping that as well)

3. Being a control freak although I have made leaps on that one.

4. Speeding, can't even tell you how many times I've been pulled over; lost count after 40

5. Falling asleep anywhere...I can't keep my head from bobbing; it can be embarassing.

Five things you like doing:

1. Playing video games

2. reading

3. Going for long drives; exploring roads to where ever

4. Taking a day to north country; Flagstaff, Jerome, Sedona, or Williams

5. Playing in the snow; sledding, skiing, snow ball fights - so happy right now!!!!

Five things you would never wear again:

1. my satin piano tie from 1984

2. the headband reminiscent of "Physical" (same era)

3. pumps, the heels not the Reeboks

4. earring that coordinate with what I'm wearing

5. Make up - yuck!

Five favorite toys:

1. My computer

2. My Pocket PC

3. My gamecube, PS2, and Gameboys

4. the Fireplace

5. *blush* I can't say...it's a collection! (SOOOO keeping this one)

The pot calling the kettle...?

Okay, it's that time of year again when the streets are steaming from the cold air against the vents and kids are giddy with dreams in their head's and lists on their brains. People are in love or are miserable because they are not in love and for a little while every one is especially kinder...which is nice. However...

It never fails that every year at this TIME of year there is an email that goes around (I've already rec'd it for 2005) about Target denying Salvation Army jingling rights in front of their stores. It calls for a ban against the 'French owned' company. Now I don't know if they are or aren't French owned as my life is FAR too busy to verify by doing the research and I've come to learn that only a tenth of a percent do I believe that I see online via email or otherwise. Check SNOPES.COM for other validation on anything you come across...anyway...

To set the record straight...this issue is thus -

Target doesn't allow any organization or group or business or whatever that practices discrimination have anything to do with their name. Salvation Army (FOR YEARS!!!) has been known and does have pending suit after suit and already lost litigation in court to the fact that they have harassed, fired, and discriminated against those working for them or needing that 'helpful hand' due to religious practices, beliefs and sexuality to name a few. According to much documentation that CAN be substantiated - the Salvation Army has fired and harassed its employees who were known to practice a different religion than the company's beliefs or for having no belief whatsoever and has also denied assistance to those in need because of their sexuality. It is for THESE reasons that the store TARGET will not allow them in front of their doors. For as they do serve a good cause, they only serve SOME of America and not ALL of America which BY THE WAY was founded on religious freedom....hm? Imagine that.

So before anyone starts getting down with downing Target and boycotting them for this...realize you are serving a hypocrisy. I do not donate to the Salvation Army and I am one of hundreds upon thousands who do not support them due to these practices. There are many other local and national charities that work out of real pureness and it is those I either donate my time to or contribute my dollar. This is not to solicit you to NOT give to the Salvation Army but only to educate those who are unaware of the big picture before you erroneously forward another email yet again this year.


To that note, here's wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!